How Much I'm Worth

I am worth $2,679,690 on HumanForSale.com
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Tonight, doing my laundry at Wendy's, she was treating her dog, Colbert a St. Bernard, like a human and holding him in her lap. Bernards are wont to slobber and this one is coming into his own in that respect. I noticed some slobber on her hoodie, but said nothing. A moment later she was licked in the face or something, so she went to wipe off her mouth or chin or cheek on her sweatshirt. You guessed it; she wiped her face in the slobber on her hoodie. I found this quite comical.