Best. Offering Call. Ever.

So in my dream I was at Alumni Weekend at DAA and was in the sanctuary between sabbath school and the main church service during a sound check on the stage. At some point, a very energetic yet misguided soul of a woman took the cue of some conference official and made an offering appeal, though there weren't twenty people in the audience yet. This is what I can remember:

You can transubstantiate yourselves into Hercules and shoot your eyes with heroin, which is much more painful that just giving a little extra.

But it was said much more haltingly. She was trying to be enthusiastic, but the words, and ideas for that matter, weren't coming to her quickly enough to support such fervor.