Another Try

Alright, I'm gonna save this draft every other sentence.

I mentioned plenty about what I don't believe or know, now for some of what I do.

Angela said that he loves me. This I know. As I was thinking about the Cross, I tried to find some loophole that didn't require Jesus to die to cover our sins (much like I'm eager for evidence that the "Spirit of Prophecy" isn't or doesn't have to be Ellen White.) After coming up empty there, I thought about why God sacrificed his son. It is because he loves us and wants to have us live with him forever, so much that even if no one accepts his gift, he still gives it. Which love is greater, requited or unrequited? I'm guessing that the love that is rejected is greater. What makes us worthy of God killing his son for us? His love. We are valuable because God loves us. Here is where I depart. I find his love quite literally pathetic. I have a hard time respecting a God that kowtows to measly humans like a puppy. Our value comes from God's love, but his love is greater if we reject it? I don't believe I get my value from who loves me. I believe any value I have comes from who I am, what I'm capable of doing, thinking, and becoming.

I hate you internetting and blogger

Seriously, you're busting my balls. Why did you lose my pompous bloated post? Why?

Jeremy Birge

O' Connor Monte Cristo, Zombie Ukrainian, Todd Rundgren, Gander, Letters to be written, Rick Ocasek, Stephen Colbert, Bucket, "my brother's kids," Dave Grohl dental work. As you can see, I have a lot to get through. Settle in.

As Nat X would say,"It is now 4:49 in the AM." I woke up at 3, and then after dreaming for a while (don't eat half a Monte Cristo before bed) about DAA and a bunch of people from the class behind me like Mike Hellman, Leslie Weidell, Seth Clark, and James Schumacher (recent MySpace addition), I know where it began, which is saying a lot because much, as you can see, has followed.

After my dream, I realized how much I don't trust Leslie Weidell, diabetic PK mountain-biking hottie that he is. I don't trust him because he, and by extension the rest of those enrolled at DAA in 1998, betrayed me in that year's Student Association elections. At one point, I was the only candidate for Spiritual Vice-President. Then after the deadline for submission of petition to become a candidate, the SA officers of that year allowed Leslie Weidell to join the race. They had to do this because the previous year Jeremy Birge, Sgt. at Arms for that administration, was allowed to join the race after the deadline the previous year. That year, many agreed this was a good thing because I don't think we liked who he was running against (I think it was Dusty Kirschmann, ask Scott for clarification). In hindsight, I guess I was also loathed like Dusty. Back to the election, Scott said that it was between the guy who prayed in guy's dorm worship and the guy who exposed himself during it. So I lost the election. In the previous year's annual, Pastor Gary (Burns) wrote: Daniel, You have great potential as a spiritual leader. Leadership is not limited to an office. It's a full-time-who-you-are thing. God Bless! PG I agree with him, but mandate from the people sure does help. In the year of the election his comment included: Sometimes your agenda and God's agenda get a little confused. Allow God to give direction. Give him permission to do His work in your life, and you will be glad.

I guess this was the beginning of my disillusionment with spirituality and religion. I know I was a stupid 17 year old kid, but it happens. Part of the reason for the impact this event had on me is that I've always associated community and religion. This is the only reason I go to church now (when I actually go), for the community. So when the community rejected me as a spiritual leader, it was difficult.

So that covers the feelings I got from my dream. After I woke up, I thought about what I could do with my time, seeins as I had the whole morning ahead of me. One of my options was to write a letter. I haven't written in a while, so I thought I might open with Todd Rundgren's "Hello, it's me. I've thought about us for a long, long time." Todd has been in my mind for a while since he was put on Stephen Colbert's "On Notice" board by Rick Ocasek (Rick was on the show as a resident limnologist because in a music video he, like Jesus, walked on water. Colbert put The Journal of Paleolimnology on notice because of an article proposing that Christ walked on a chunk of ice in the Sea of Galilee, and gave Rick the option to put someone up there too.) I realize why he was Ocasek's choice. I was also wondering why two ds. This got me thinking of other Todds and Todd Flanders came to mind, from the Simpsons. "Hens love roosters. Geese love ganders. Everyone else loves Ned Flanders." This ditty was the first time I realized that a gander was not a group of geese, which I figured it was since people say "What is good for the goose is good for the gander." when they mean what is good for one is good for all.

One more ramble. This morning as I sat down to the computer, I saw the lid to my honey bear on the computer desk. As I took it back to its home, I saw my honey bear all messy on the kitchen counter. SERGEY!!! is responsible for this. He came home tired from watching the boiler. I guess he wasn't too tired to make a mess he didn't clean up. Silly zombie Ukranian. As Billy Bob Thornton said in Tombstone, "It's like playin' with my brother's kids."

PS In the Foo Fighters video "Best of You," Dave Grohl, lead singer and former drummer of Nirvana, sings into a microphone with a majority of the video a close up of this. I wonder if the premium shots of his teeth allow him to write-off for taxes his dental work.

SDA

as in seven-day agnostic. I switched my religion on MySpace a few weeks ago, and thought I'd do so here too. I know this doesn't really matter to how people view me or think about me, my actions and interactions (with a little hearsay) do that, but I thought this would be as good a venue as any to work it out verbally.

Right now, I'm more not Christian than gung-ho Agnostic. Some reasons I'm not Christian. I don't believe in the divinity of Christ. This started by not really accepting His sacrifice for my sins, because I don't think I need it. [I don't know if I've discussed this here before, but sin seems very subjective to me, based on guilt mainly (what you feel guilty doing is a sin, different cultures issue different guilt). I'd rather not feel guilty, nor do I feel guilty doing or thinking things that used to be sin to me. So, if sin is subjective, which I think it is, why need someone to save me from it?] After over a year of not believing I need "the Cross," this Easter I decided Jesus is what I think the Buddhists and Muslims say He is, a great teacher/prophet, but not God.

I admit I've been influenced by other religious literature (see The Book of Mormon, The Koran, and The Dictionary of Norse Myth and Legend). Many religions have religious texts, and each believes in the veracity of it. Why is the Bible more true than the Koran, or the Book of Mormon for that matter?

Even longer than not needing the Cross, I've been more religious than spiritual (I've always mocked the start up Gen-X churches who promise "God without religion." I say, "No religion?! Not for me!"), even the religion part is out now. My take on those that are succeeding with Christianity (no offence) is that belief or faith is the important thing (I've felt this way about prayer for many years. Prayer focuses your mind on something; doesn't matter what happens--God is answering). I don't think it matters what you believe (in); if you believe and have faith, then you will feel better about your life (which is why you believe, so that you will feel good about your life). I think that about covers my non-Christian reasons.

I still believe in a God that created the Universe. Whether He has a place for me after I die, I don't know. Does it matter to Him if I live a moral life? I don't know. Does He want me to join a chosen group of people to worship Him? I don't know. Is He a he? I do not know. I guess that covers the a-gnostic part.

One Week Later

So, I haven't run since the last time I ran, last Thursday. One week later, it is twenty degrees cooler, and I ran a mile farther at a pace 55 seconds faster per mile (8 miles in 71 minutes).

The Real Daniel

I'm sorry. I have been misleading my readers (faithful and otherwise). Reading this blog, I'm sure it gives the impression I lead a terribly exciting, eventful life. In reality, I find every excuse I can to sleep in, and once out of bed I spend as much time, reasonable or otherwise, in front of a monitor, tv or otherwise. Forget couch potato. I'm a monitor lizard. Case in point:

Movies I saw this weekend: Ripley's Game, Carried Away, Death and the Maiden, Character, Junebug, and partially National Lampoon's Van Wilder, The Replacements, Jeepers Creepers plus Jeepers Creepers 2, and I've got 51 more in my Netflix queue.

TV shows I currently can't pass up: The Next Food Network Star, Ham on the Street, Good Eats, Grey's Anatomy, Robot Chicken, Minoriteam, Moral Orel, Scrubs, Sons and Daughters, Amazing Race 9, South Park, American Idol Elimination, Top Chef, The Office, My Name Is Earl, The Henry Rollins Show, Dinner for Five, and we can't forget The Daily Show and his little brother all growed up, The Colbert Report, Ed vs. Spencer is another I mentioned before.

My internetting committments include gmail, hotmail, myspace, blogger, espn, netflix, and associate links.

On top of, or I should say "around," the monitoring, I try to add eating, exercising, reading (just finished Stephen King's Apt Pupil from Different Seasons, next up American Psycho and selections from the Koran), annoying Scott, consuming music, and sleeping. Not too exciting, not at all.

PS I did go to Ivanna Cone Saturday night for some more chambord (a quart of it is now in my freezer) and had a wonderful dish of chambord, Bailey's, and cinnamon. Fantastic!

Thiseen, I went to El Comal and got a lengua burrito and a tripitas taco. Yes you Espanophones read that right, tongue and stomach. The tripitas was good. The tongue was tough and dryish. One menu had brains on it but more updated ones didn't, not that I'm really aching for some bovine encephalitis ten years from now.

Verry booring. (Get it, I'm a boor. ha. ha.)

Out.

Great Friday

Work was good. Ivanna Cone was delish (try the chambord). Pat Dixon is funny. Early to bed is better. Hence, great day.

The temperature yestereen during my run was 87 at the beginning and 85 at the end.

Lakim "One" Iyotta

Maundy Thursday

Tonight I ran here. It was my longest and first run outside since starting my "training" for the alf-marathon. Some thoughts:

I know now why they created "interval training." It was just an excuse to slow down (stop) when running. It is a whole lot harder to run outside. It really doesn't help when the time and temp at South and Capitol Parkway is stuck at 90 something. It seemed hot. I'll check tomorrow what the temp was from 7:08 to 8:16. So I did the seven miles in 68 minutes. I guess that isn't horrible; it is a 9:42 average. I don't think a fried egg and peanut butter sandwich with a chaser of milk is the best pre-run meal. I know what the psalmist was talking about when he mentioned lying down beside still waters. I really liked the underpasses. When you're running, the stop lights are a pleasant excuse to rest and no longer a nuisance. According to Gmap, I burned 1005 calories.

Much to Scott's annoyance, today is Maundy Thursday. It is a nice concept though "A new commandment I give unto you, love one another as I have loved you." John 13:34 I love saying Maundy Thursday. Say it with me: MAUNDY THURSDAY.

While typing this up, I was watching Ed vs. Spencer on BBC America. It is a very fun show. The concept is that they challenge each other each show with the winner getting glory and the loser getting humiliation. Previous episodes the challenges have been who can get themself sickest in a week, who can make a better porno, who is the most attractive to women. Tonight's episode was who could stay the longest in the woods with only a survival knife and the clothing on their back. Spencer won despite sabotage attempts from Ed. The straw that broke Ed's back was that he didn't have a way to carry/hold water to purify it. For the Humiliation, Spencer went to a nice restaurant and had Ed feed him the food. Spencer asked Ed what dessert he would get and Ed flashed the old two finger salute. "Two desserts it is." Spencer countered. Funny stuff. I also think Bryant looks a bit like each of them.

I hate you Phidippides.

Table for One

I always enjoy timing film showings, so that one film begins when the other ends. Yesterday had Thank You For Smoking ending right when Inside Man began. Thank You for Smoking was enjoyable, there were plenty of great lines and it was well acted by all. Inside Man was everything Ebert said it was. It took a bit of time to get through it. The acting was fine and there were some great scenes, but the plot just took too much time with a fairly weak payoff. After the films, I thought I'd go check-out a book to read for my supper. Unfortunately I didn't time that well enough, with the Library closing at 6pm, 25 min before I got there.

At Krem le Bistro, I still had the menu to read while waiting for my food. The food wasn't a good value. The Italian Medallions that I had were a poor concept executed even worse. It was three beef medallions breaded with a tomato "salsa." However, it turned out to be a weak eggplant parmagiana substitute. The chai cheesecake with honey and ginger sauce was better, and the chicken tortilla soup was fine, kind of a Mexican French onion soup. A cup is a very efficient dish to serve soup in because the vertical nature keeps the heat well, keeping the last bite just as warm as the first. They tried to class the place up with a live harpist, but I wasn't too impressed by her either. I wouldn't mind trying their bulgur, raisin and pine nut stuffed pepper, but nothing else looks that outstanding.

omphaloskepsis

Still Magnolias

The trees in front of our apartment are still magnolias. They didn't change over the winter or decide to die after it was nice and they were rewarded with 10 inches of snow. Maybe Scott will post some pictures when they get really pretty.

The taste of victory is egg nogg and cinnamon ice cream from Ivanna Cone. That was what the winner of the NCAA Championship Tournament Bracket Challenge in the Shipping Department of AdventSource received. That winner happened to be me. Going into the final game, I was tied with one of the student workers, so I thought we should bet on something. So the winner got a gift certificate to Ivanna Cone. I retrieved the booty this evening after work. It was raining and because Colorado blows and Iowa sucks it was windy too, really windy, there was even some small hail a few times.

gound

1:02:03 04/05/06

I thought it would be good to blog on this day of ordinality. I have mostly been focussed on running the last while. Monday I ran 5 miles at a 7:27 pace. Today I ran three miles at 7:18; I would have ran more, but when I was pausing to check my heart rate, I accidently hit the stop button, which ended my workout. I suppose I could have done the other two from the start, but I lost my flow, I guess. Friday I'll make up for it with 6 miles at the 7:18 pace, and now that I've told y'all, I hafta. The challenge will be transfering my running to the out of doors and to distances longer than 6 miles. I woulda this last Sunday but it was rainy and I slept in, and I was scared, get off my back will ya.

taquiner